Monday, February 15, 2010

I Hate You

I wrote this poem close to a decade ago and discovered it again last week while browsing my archives for Valentine's Day selections. I chose this - entitled "I Hate You" - and a couple of other pieces for last Friday's "Midnights with Jae El." If you missed hearing it live, you can read it here. Enjoy!

~~ Jae El ~~

“I Hate You”

I’ve been trying so hard to
Get you out of my mind,
And I’ve been wasting so much
Of my precious time.
I’ve been hurting so long
From hating you,
But I’m only hating you because
I fear I’m in love with you.
I hate the idea that
You and I can never be.
I hate that it’s your face
In my mind that I see.
I hate when I dream
Because my dreams are about you,
And I hate the knowledge that
My dreams will never come true.
I hate the existence that
We share by being apart.
I hate the misery that comes
With the aching in my heart.
I hate the sadness that fills me
Whenever you cross my mind,
And I hate the resistance I force
When I want to cross the line.
I hate the way you laugh
Because it makes me feel warm.
I hate the way you smile
Because it makes me lose my form.
I hate the way you talk
When I know it’s not to me.
I hate the way you roam
Because I hate that you are free.
I hate it when you’re at home
Because your home is not mine,
And I hate it when you’re near me
Because I’ll lose you in due time.
I hate you for so much right now
That I don’t know what to do,
But know my hatred is of love
And this love is meant for you.

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