I Hate You

I wrote this poem close to a decade ago and discovered it again last week while browsing my archives for Valentine's Day selections. I chose this - entitled "I Hate You" - and a couple of other pieces for last Friday's "Midnights with Jae El." If you missed hearing it live, you can read it here. Enjoy!

~~ Jae El ~~

“I Hate You”

I’ve been trying so hard to

Get you out of my mind,

And I’ve been wasting so much

Of my precious time.

I’ve been hurting so long

From hating you,

But I’m only hating you because

I fear I’m in love with you.

I hate the idea that

You and I can never be.

I hate that it’s your face

In my mind that I see.

I hate when I dream

Because my dreams are about you,

And I hate the knowledge that

My dreams will never come true.

I hate the existence that

We share by being apart.

I hate the misery that comes

With the aching in my heart.

I hate the sadness that fills me

Whenever you cross my mind,

And I hate the resistance I force

When I want to cross the line.

I hate the way you laugh

Because it makes me feel warm.

I hate the way you smile

Because it makes me lose my form.

I hate the way you talk

When I know it’s not to me.

I hate the way you roam

Because I hate that you are free.

I hate it when you’re at home

Because your home is not mine,

And I hate it when you’re near me

Because I’ll lose you in due time.

I hate you for so much right now

That I don’t know what to do,

But know my hatred is of love

And this love is meant for you.